and so it happened.

So, after so long of absence. So many things took place. I'll skip all the roses and thorns. The main point today is that I might change my ways. Some say that I am getting soft. Just because I let a few people away from severe beating. I realised, some people are not worth the time. I became tired of all that crap. What I need now is peace. Well, so I got to know this new girl. A friend of Y. A real bundle of joy. She's just understanding. She's one of the few people to say : " Mike, you're a wonderful and nice guy. "  See, I have been known for being real bad. But she saw the good in me! Which not only surprises me, but won my heart. She makes my heart rather squishy and warm. I told her some time ago that I would go meet her. And thus it happened, I flew across the ocean that sets us apart, climbed the hills that stood between us, wandered through the jungle that was the last obstacle. So here I am, a couple of feet away from her, before meeting her my heart was racing like hell! But she turned out to be more pleasant than ever! She browsed through my phone's photo gallery, saw a pic of a girl that once was my friend. I freaked out thinking that she would have thought that the girl is my girl or something. Lucky I still could escape with that. How so? That I cant tell. But the whole thing went smoothly. All in all, it was a good thing! Made me the happiest man alive!

Violence,how can we live without it

So, I abandoned my blog for a bit too long. In that period of time many things took place. Many life changing events. Got heartbroken again. I find it amusing that I could be heartbroken. Thanks to the fact that i thought i had a black heart. Ah wah do dem... But it was quite fun. The loyalty of the people around me were tested. Received tonnes of bad news. Have i mentioned what happened in y family?? I hope not :) But I dare say that what happened completely altered my crazy self.

 I trust that my craziness knows no boundaries. But after such traumatizing events, I dare say my conscience was also altered. PEople talk about the empty hollow stare that a man gives when he takes a life. Well i have that particular stare,though it is quite cleverly masked. I dare kill. I've dreamed many times of  sticking my knife into the bodies of people that offended me. Yes,scary as it seems,i dont wake up in sweat or anything. But i wake up with a smile.

  Every man has a dark recess of violence in them. Given the correct pressure and condition, a man's true savage surfaces. we feed our hunger for violence in many ways. Video games, speech, competitions and etc.
 Try your best to deny, but deep inside you,that violence, that thirst for blood still lingers.

Liar liar,is my pants on fire?

So,its true that we live with lies. We all have lies and dirty little secrets that we keep completely to ourselves. It's what that makes us human. Its normal to lie. Politics, religions, Nations, they all have one thing in common : They all have lies. It may even be the very foundation of everything.

We all tell lies,be it a white lie for the greater good,or a bad lie to cover our own arse. But sometimes,what we see is a lie may as well be a truth. It was mentioned in Psychology before. A truth can be a lie,a lie can be a truth. It's all based on the perception of the receiver. If the receiver thinks its a lie,they'd be ashamed when they find out what they called a lie was actually a truth. It's messed up,i know. I've seen and experienced firsthand how this works. Turn a lie into a truth,a truth into a lie. It's simple as it is all in the mind. We not only tell others lies,but we even lie o ourselves. It's amazing how a lie can affect ourselves and others.The ability of a lie to fool and blind others are way beyond what we can imagine.

But when one tells the truth and is called a liar simply because the receiver does not believe in the person,nothing could be done except to prove it. Prove that the truth is the truth. Personally,I do think that its best to first be defensive,just to show that its the truth. But when it won't work,then prove it out. Prove it in their faces and hurt their ego. That way they will learn the hard way and that lesson would stick in their head.

I was very recently called a liar by someone who I really care about. Imagine the pain. I can't blame the person entirely. Emotions can sometimes overwhelm a person's mind. So I kept quiet and suffered in silence. I told a whole truth and in a second,this person told me that I am lying and that I am a bloody liar. Imagine the anger. I am a person who gets angry easily,but cools down as quickly. But I kept cool and let things roll its course. I'll put this to its natural course. See how it goes. But i am really offended and upset by that reaction i got.

Not everything is a lie. Sometimes its a lie because we assume it as a lie! Have trust in people,especially those who loves you sincerely and cares about you. Never ridicule them or question their sincerity. Regretting over it after is useless. Never Let Your Emotions Be The Master. Your mind is the master. Its pointless to offend and upset others by saying that they are lying when they are actually telling the truth. Look into the matter,investigate thoroughly, then only judge it to determine if its a lie or a truth. Don't shoot your gun blindly as you might end up shooting an ally. Words and accusations are more lethal and fatal compared to bullets. Bullets may kill,so can words. But the damage that words and blind accusations can inflict is more than a bullet. Liar,liar. Pants on Fire...

Back in time

So here I am after so long of absence. Many unexpected events took place. Death came knocking twice. I quit Muay Thai and continued with Aikido. Met my Darling Yeyen and my other babes. So much fun i've had,so much pain i've suffered. But hey,I'm still holding my head up high. I got myself a new laptop with the help of a good friend. Thanks to him for saving my ass from being ripped off by vulturous scoundrels who intend on draining people's pockets dry for something lousy. I've been working on my English a lot,especially spoken English. Through the course of time,I've learnt many things. Good ones and bad,just to make everything balanced.
So Emily is forgotten history,her picture that i kept was burnt. One has gotta move on in life and not let the past control and determine your future,am i right? So i moved on,and i realised, despite me being mean n bad,there are actually other that see goodness in me. I failed myself,only to learn how to correct myself and stand again. Pain was an issue for me,but even love hurts. Now I'm keen on getting an Iron Maiden album. My brain has been congested with many thought. mostly that helps improve my insight on psychology. I guess thats all i have for now...



PS- Yeyen,i think your superbro is gonna be needing help. So many secrets that arent his to share has been giving him headache. Pls look into this. I'm sure he needs you. Try not to dig much about his secrets. Loves,Mike.

Craziness, Good n Bad.

CRAZINESS : People wonder about me being crazy. Its because some find it disturbing in a way that mystifies me. I don't really care about what people think of me when I am crazy, which is almost all the time. There's one thing that I learned in life,and it is that I cannot please everybody so I'll just please myself. If you look into it, you'd find it rather interesting, something worth thinking about. If I try to please everybody, I may not be entirely myself. Thus making me lose my own identity. What is a man without his very own identity? Nobody! So why lose your identity for someone's pleasure that will last not for long? If its only one individual,it won't be much bothered. But if its more than one, abandon all hope! Ask me and I, a crazy person, would tell you : Now THAT'S crazy! You'd spend your entire life trying to please everybody. But you can't please yourself. Is that not pathetic? You can do so much for someone,but not yourself? I am not implementing on being selfish. But be considerate! At least set a limit for yourself and acknowledge it! Like me, I have been told that I am mean countless times. But I never am mean to everyone. Only a special few are the ones that I am mean to. Why? Its because That individual has ill-treated me. If you give me a bag full of shit, don't expect me to give you flowers in return! My craziness has gotten me through all kinds of stuff that life throws in my way! Everyone needs to have fun, who dares disagree with me on this? So go crazy! Do something out of the ordinary! Don't get cooped up in normality and strive to be the same as others. Remember, we are born different from others for a reason! Its our Identity! We only live once! Dying for something is commendable. But to live for something, now that's something awesome!

GOOD N BAD : " No man on an intention becomes good or bad. He reacts to the situation he is thrown into which creates further situations as chain reactions." Think about this quote. Now, what is bad, and what is good? There's nothing either good or bad,but the thinking makes it so. Labeling something to be bad or good is very, very subjective. It depends on each separate individual. You might find a rainy day to be bad because you'd have to stay indoors. But I find rainy days to be good for I have the fondness to either play in the rain or to cuddle up in bed and fall asleep. Which leaves one question, are rainy days good, or bad? Now let us have another one to look into. This time its a very common case. Exempli Gratia ; I am known to be nice and kind, honorable and respectful towards others, a good person. But to some others, I mean bad, mean, selfish, uncaring. The exact opposite of the good me. Now, both side are right. This is owing to my being, for I am nice to those who are nice to me and deserve it, and I am bad to those who are on my bad side! This example happens to every single human out there! Now, if you were to take one individual who says I am good and another who says otherwise, put them in a room. Will they fight between themselves, contradicting each other? Surely they would. Man they aren't if they do not fight. Now which individual stands correct about me being good or bad? Think about it... Bad or good. It simply exists because we made it so. I am looking at this in a general way, not in a psychological way. Think about good and bad... It is some Crazy shit! :-D

Confidence... We aint jackshit without it!!!

People talk about confidence everywhere. There are even books about it! But learning it hands on is way better than reading about it. I'm not saying that reading about it isn't worth your time, because it gives you ideas and tips! But whats the point if you know it but don't put it to use? Not like its black magic or whatever. its for your own good!

 I've been told that I am confident most of the time. And I've been asked how do I manage to do so. My advise is simple, DON'T ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE UP TO IT. INSTEAD REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE UP TO IT! If you think you are pretty, and almost everyone around you say so,then you are! Dont be too down-to-earth,its not being humble. Its being without confidence! I've studied psychology and it taught me plenty. Like confidence! If I had not the confidence to study it, i wouldn't get the knowledge. If i had not the confidence to talk, I wouldn't learn, I wouldn't get to know people! Confidence gets you a long way in life! Its true that confidence can't be bad at times. But hey,if you didn't have the confidence to try,would you know?

That's what confidence is to me. Its hard to teach one to be confident. But yea, its easy to get. Its like waking up,look into a mirror and tell yourself e.g. : I am pretty/handsome,I can do anything and that's me! You're not as ugly as you think you are,you're not as weak as you think you are. Remember that! So basically that's my thoughts on confidence!

P.S : Hope this helps,my dear! <3

Relationships with Bitches/Assholes

So, we all have landed ourselves in relationships in our lives. We get into funky stuff,enjoy ourselves. Then somehow sooner or later,we break up. It continues until we find our perfect match. Its like trial and error :-D Relationships teaches us stuffs we don't learn in classrooms. Its not laid out in books for us to indulge and learn. No it isn't.

But most of us have a hard time dealing with breakups. Of course,getting into something you think is serious,then suddenly it comes to a halt. It ain't easy. Even players get their share of heartbreaks,trust me. No one escapes. What's important is how you brace yourself for it and face it. I myself have experienced the toughness and bitterness of these times,being cheated and all that. But i pulled through. What don't kill me makes me stronger. This heartbreak cuts both ways! Getting over heartbreak is another issue. The highlight now is being in one with a proper prick!

We all have that asshole/bitchy ex that we regret knowing. Even I have mine! But sometimes these exes don't give up after the breakup. They keep stalking, harassing, picking fights and just can't move on! They gotta learn how the fuck to move on. Pardon me, but profanity just flow out of my mouth when i am annoyed.

Today I got really annoyed by my darling Y's ( anonymity is greatly appreciated ) ex, Anjing ( Dog,as i am ever so fond of addressing him as that. ) whatever-the-fuck-his-full-name-is. He is a proper asshole that even another asshole would hate! Y broke up with him some time ago, I strongly stood by her and supported her fiercely as he wasn't treating her like how she deserves and he was no gentleman! Y promised me that he was the past that she would never dig for. But some time passed and he bravely and connivingly approached Y, convincing her that he has changed and what-not. I am sorry for what i am about to say, but say it i must. What a fool Y was to have bought his sugar-coated lies! i am truly sorry for saying it. He was still up to no good with Y. To cut the whole shit short,Y opened her lovely eyes and saw her mistake. Something which she immediately rectify, I am bloody proud of her ability to rectify it for good! Y moved on, but this Anjing didn't. He had the guts to actually make his stalking obvious and insult Y! He had the balls to intimidate Y and the fella that was with Y in her picture! He even threatened to beat the fella in her pic if he sees him! My oh my, if i had the opportunity, i would beat the living shit out of that shithead! Who the fuck he thinks he is? Anjing may be bigger sized than me,but heck, i won't fucking back down! I'd take him head on and make him pay for disrespecting Y! I'd make him pay very dearly indeed! You don't mess with the people that are dear to me and get away! Y was,and i am rather sure still is, agitated by Anjing's mindless act. I don't blame her. C'mmon, Y left you, Anjing. Fucking face it if you're a man! You're not,so you won't! But mind you, FUCKER, Y's got a superbrother that would stick by her through thick or thin. He's a tough, hot-headed, mean and vile thing. He may be small,but he's capable of taking you down.

See,exes like him makes peoples' life miserable! Move on. If you can't, don't make your ex's life miserable! What does doing so do any good to you? Stop being so immature! Anjing,if I were you,I'd keep an eye out if you're in West Malaysia. Y's superbrother loves her dearly, and he's got eyes and ears in many places. And if he gets to you, mercy is not what he will show! ;-)

Y, you might get upset with this post of mine. But I just feel like I have to voice it out. I cannot stand watching you being treated disrespectfully by Anjing. I love you! And superbro will always be there for you!